Re-Emerging
When you're fully vaccinated, but not fully aware of how to behave around humans.
Liza here! And Gems: I’m fully vaccinated + the two weeks it takes to reach full effect. It’s a WILD feeling.
I feel lucky to be vaccinated, and also a little guilty because I know that so many people haven’t had the chance yet. In New York, they’ve done an incredible job with the rollout, and all of a sudden, most of my friends are either partially or fully vaccinated. I want to first say that I am doing EVERYTHING the CDC tells me to. I really haven’t changed my behavior that much. But the Fowch (that is a phonetic transliteration of what I have been calling Dr. Fauci) says that I can hang out inside, unmasked with a fully vaccinated friend, and on my two week second vax-iversary, I did just that.
And you guys, it was WEIRD. It was one of my oldest and dearest friends and we had such a good time. But she walked into my apartment (where she has been approx 10,000 times) and I was like...wait what do I do? Can I get you a glass of coat? May I take your water? Do u want an alcoholz?
We had a drink at my place, and then went out to an outdoor dinner (we sat one table away from Pieper, Chelsea, Kit, and Abigail from The Bachelorette, and I shushed my friend a lot to eavesdrop on their conversation). I got unreasonably drunk. We ordered an app to split and then FREAKED OUT because was that irresponsible? We searched frantically for an answer on the CDC website and then remembered we could just ask for a second plate.
This was how I was acting with one of my best friends in the world. What the fuck is it going to be like to date post-vaccine?
So here are my tips.**
**These are assuming that ALL parties are fully vaccinated and have let two weeks pass from their last vaccination. Remember that even when fully vaxxed, you can’t like...go to parties and shit. Keep your interactions to small gatherings with people from only one other household. This isn’t over. The Fowch can tell you more here: https://www.cdc.gov/coronavirus/2019-ncov/vaccines/fully-vaccinated.html
Go on a date with a friend FIRST. Or maybe go on ten dates with friends. I understand the rush to get back out there, but I genuinely feel out of practice in human interaction and even just one evening with a pal reminded me that I can NOT have four whiskeys before dinner, and that I shouldn’t shush people just because there are reality show contestants close by.
Admit that you’re feeling weird. My rule in any awkward situation is to just...make a joke about the fact that it’s awkward. Did you ever take a level one intro class? It’s called labeling. Label the thing. “This is my first date in 14 months and I feel like a mole person. How do you feel?” But...maybe say something cuter? I was never great at flirting.
Feel HOT. All the clothes you’ve been buying online this whole time (just me?) - debut them! Down with traditional beauty standards imposed on us by the patriarchy, I’m thinking more of Jonathan Van Ness’ philosophy - if you feel incredible about your physical self, that confidence radiates outward. Do whatever you do to feel your best. This can be lingerie, lipstick and big hair, or it can be just showering and putting on chapstick. After a long time without getting dressed for anything, even just putting on jeans and a little makeup makes me feel so damn good.
Plan something simple. I DON’T think this is a great time for a first date that involves an escape room. I don’t even really think it’s a great time for a date where you take a walk together. Navigating conversation and activity is a high degree of difficulty socially. Let’s go back to basics and do a drink or a coffee at an outdoor place. Sit, make eye contact, ask questions, answer some questions, maybe an awkward side-hug, and then say goodbye. Walk before you run.
Remember it should be fun. You’re likely going to put a LOT of pressure on your first few dates back in the world. It might feel like every single date is a reflection of your self worth. It’s not. Just remember that a date is an opportunity to connect with another human being. Some humans you will like, some you won’t. Try and see them as a unique individual and enjoy it as a social interaction. Make jokes, be a little silly. If there’s no spark, that doesn’t mean anything except that your venn diagram doesn’t overlap with their venn diagram. (wait no...your circles don’t overlap enough to form a venn diagram? I’ve been using this metaphor for years on the pod, and only just realized that it doesn’t make any kind of sense).
Don’t go on a date if you don’t want to. Usually, Kimmy and I encourage pushing yourself a little outside your comfort zone in the interest of just getting on a goddamn date. But we’ve been through a lot this year. It’s been more traumatic to our psyches that I think a lot of people realize. Resist the urge to feel like you’ve “lost time” in your dating life that has to be made up. We’re all just floating on a rock through space, timelines are meaningless and societally imposed, and you know what is best for you. Take care of yourself. Be gentle.
AND NOW ~*CoNsUmPtIoN CoRnEr*~
The Leftovers - HBO throwback that Carlynne is loving. Is Justin Theroux hot?
Searching for Italy - Stanley Tucci eats pasta. It’s good.
Made You Look - A documentary about art fraud - the chillest true crime doc possible.
Who Weekly - Kimmy’s go-to pop culture podcast
Call My Agent - French comedy, oui oui.
Another Round - Scandinavian Film about drinking.
OMG Liza with your A+ Bachelor sighting. What were they talking about?? Do you have Paradise cast info?