Jeff Gets the Terry Gross Treatment
Hi Gems! Liza here. It’s been the kind of week where the weather is beautiful and it’s a springtime paradise in New York, and all I can think about is how annoying allergies are. I’ve been that kind of grouchy. Why am I like this?
Anyway...since Kimmy is my influencer, and in the interest of fairness to Date 13 (who was generously interviewed for last week’s newsletter) I thought that I would pose some similar questions to Jeff for this week’s newsletter. This is fun for me, because I have always wanted to be Terry Gross (the host of your parent’s favorite NPR show Fresh Air, and one of the greatest interviewers on the planet). I decide to T-Gross him after we have ordered dinner but before it has arrived, which is a precarious time. He promises to try and keep his hanger at bay.
*Editor’s Note: He makes 10-12 filthy jokes that I have edited here for the sake of everyone’s sanity.
HERE WE GO!
What was the hardest part about dating me when we started dating?
I mean I think it's tricky to know how interested someone is in more than just hanging out forever. That uncertainty definitely made me nervous.
Did you always feel that way when you started dating someone or was that specific to me because I was a cold bitch?
*Laughs* To some degree I felt that with other people but I think you were a bit more hard to know at the beginning. You were always playing it cool. And I liked you a lot, so that was scary. Especially since I do not really know how to play it cool.
When you were dating, what would you do if your date didn't offer to pay?
I’d say we could split it.
*I reply, incredulously* Wait, if she didn’t offer anything, you would suggest you’d split it?
Okay, that’s not true, I’d pay, but l’d be a little annoyed if she didn't reciprocate after a few dates. I feel like in this day and age there should be some back and forth, and if I pay a few times, I’d like to be treated the next time. It feels nice to be taken care of like that, even if it’s not totally traditional.
What would you think if a person sent a thank you text right after the first date?
I think if you have a good date it would make sense to like to shoot a text afterwards and say that it was great. I would be excited to get that text if the date went well. It feels more weird to me to say nothing after a date. Especially if you plan to see the person again.
Would someone going home with you after a first date be a dealbreaker for an eventual relationship?
*he gives me a look….we may have gone home together after our first date*
Nope.
Would you care if a woman asked you out on a second date?
I would fucking love it. I think it’s so old school that the man has to initiate interest. It shows confidence and an ability to communicate when someone can ask you out on a date.
What would you say to someone who thinks they’ll never find someone?
*He asks, with a lot of cute sadness* Why would someone think that?
Lots of people do.
Okay, I guess I get why people feel that way, and I probably have felt that way too, but it's so misguided to jump to that conclusion. Deep down, you have to know that that belief is irrational and isn’t based on anything real. I think that's just something that you think when you're feeling hopeless but it's completely based on fear, and fear always makes us lie to ourselves.
MORAL OF THE STORY?
Jeff is rational and wise. I am cold and slutty. I just think it’s interesting to hear that men are able to be a little more casual about their views on dating (probably because they haven’t been trained from a young age to equate their self-worth with having a boyfriend). So be confident, send that text, ask for that date, and go home with him on the first date. KIDDING. Unless you want to. I clearly am not going to judge.
AND NOW FOR…